Time to Break the Curse on Love
When I looked out onto my porch this morning I noticed my prize tomato was turning red before my very eyes. Last night when I locked the door, the green-skinned beauty was lightening and seemed more yellow. Voila! During the night an amazing transformation was taking place; I realized it was my life changing before my very eyes. You see, this summer’s garden was a conscious breaking of a self-imposed curse that had plagued me for years.
Oh, I had some accomplices along the way who fanned the flames of my belief, but mostly I had imprisoned myself without parole. I took to heart a ridiculous off-handed remark someone had once made to me in a relationships class: “You’ll never be able to have a relationship if you can’t keep your plants alive.”
Don’t Believe Negative Opinions
Yes, now you know my dirty little secret and I can trust you with it because I know you have a whole closet of your own! So this summer I took on my own version of MYTH-BUSTING (a classic TV show where unusual characters try to de-bunk common folklore we all take for granted).
For as long as I can remember I have never had a green thumb. I would buy plants and they would die. So when my unknowing donor deposited their witty little comment, which translates to “You can’t have a man if you can’t care for a plant,” it landed on the fertile, well-tilled soil of self-loathing and self-destruction. And like every good seed, well tended with sustenance and nurturing, it grew into a formidable tree. The ugly truth is I did it to myself. We all do you know, do it to ourselves.
Plant Seeds of Good Thoughts
Every time I tried and failed at growing plants, I said to myself, “Well, how can you ever hope to have a relationship if you can’t keep a plant alive.” The seeds of my self-destruction lived in that foolish statement that I repeated to myself so often I stopped buying plants and without realizing it, stopped dating too. I was a failure at gardening and love. I lived my life in self-imposed exile from love. What do you deprive yourself of? What curses have you created and lived into?
How to De-Bunk a Curse
To de-bunk the curse, you and I have to face them head-on; they do not go away of their own accord. We have used idle thoughts and negativity to provide the perfect environment for our own unhappiness. So this summer, I took on my challenge, I bought plants, and embarked on a summer of learning about myself. It was cool and I encourage you to find your little lie about yourself and take it on. Every day I would look at my plants and love them. I was mesmerized by how quickly some changes would take place; my tomato plant doubled in size almost every day in the first week. I also noticed how slowly some things have taken; my little tomato was green for months.
Never Give Up on Yourself
I made many mistakes along the way. I overwatered them and the leaves turned yellow, bugs came and feasted on one plant, and yet we have made it through most of the summer. I never gave up on myself and was supported by the forgiveness of nature. Most importantly I became an observer and began checking out my own patterns and conversations. Armed with new knowledge. I was able to clean the house of my thoughts to a whole new level. This time, I replaced each negative thought with a positive one. I became the woman who creates glorious gardens.
What if we could declare clemency on ourselves and commute the life sentences that we have imposed upon ourselves? What are you living without because of some inane thought that you have believed? Do you think your body is flawed? I asked our Divas a few years ago some questions. I discovered that 53% of us were unhappy with the body we have today. Let’s join the other 47% of us and accept our bodies so we have a level playing field from which we can make positive changes.
Acceptance of What Is, Opens the Door of What-Is-To-Come
Let’s make our life declarations as if we were in power, like a Governor who can commute a prisoner’s sentence. Let’s show ourselves some mercy. We can start with the declaration, but I think it takes more than that to actually free ourselves from deeply held unconscious beliefs that work against us. We must prove to ourselves that we can do things differently and win. Here are some steps that are working for me:
- We are what we think. Examine your thoughts as if your life were at stake because it is.
- Catch one errant thought and take it on. Don’t load yourself up with all your flaws; you’ll be way too busy to have any fun. Take on just one that bugs you or is keeping you from living the life you deserve.
- Bring the thought into the physical, like I did my garden. It will give you a daily point of reference to plant only positive thoughts.
- Enlarge your vision of yourself. I put my tomato plant in a medium-sized pot and it created 2 tomatoes. Next year I’ll have an enormous pot and a huge metal frame to support the abundant growth. See, it’s the same plant and my expectation of it makes all the difference.
- Celebrate each small victory towards your new belief system. I’ll be having a little love fest for myself when I savor that beautiful “Big Beef” tomato because now I know what it means to say, “the proof is in the pudding.
Take the Limits Off Your Life
Whether we like it or not the only ones that are limiting our lives are ourselves. You and I are the judges, the jury, and the jailers on the quality of the life we want to live. We must stop letting other people feed us junk and then believe it. It doesn’t matter what anyone says about you or to you, it only matters what you say to yourself. There is a plan for your life and you have a grand and glorious purpose.
We are made in the likeness and image of God. That wondrous force that creates the sunrises and tomato plants that grow from a tiny little seed into a fruit-bearing plant. As long as your eyes are open, you have the chance to begin anew. You are magnificent and beautiful. A vibrant creative spirit that is a blessing to this world. Capture this precious moment and soar. My prayer for you is this: “From this moment on you are released from all curses that have held you back.”
Start fresh and believe it all begins in your mind. Close your eyes and choose the very best thought for yourself at this moment. Hold onto it tight for it holds the key to a glorious tomorrow.
Have a great week. Keep reading, more goodies will be on their way,
Founder, Distinctively Diva
Co-author, I Am Diva, Every Woman’s Guide to Outrageous Living